Hey.
I miss you.
Come back now.
Bye.
Hello.
I miss you more.
So much I can't even say.
Sometimes I have dreams,
and in those dreams I never moved,
and those dreams are the best,
but I always wake up feeling bad.
Sometimes I cry.
Because I miss you more.
Bye.
I don't think so.
You've got to know.
I miss you more.
Sometimes, I stalk you and stand outside you door.
So if you miss me more is what you think,
You're being daft, go get some vodka to drink.
Bye.
I'm only kidding. You know,
one of these days you better go
buy a plane ticket to come and see me,
so we can embrace and throw a party.
Today I had my literature exam,
after which I binged on ham.
And so that's my excuse for my crappy rhyming,
and thus lack of rhythm and a bad sense of timing.
Now tell me, dear Sarah, if you say you stand
outside my door here in Aussieland,
then why don't you knock, or ever say hi
since I'm usually alone having a cry?
Yes, that's right, you think about it good,
the next time that you're in the neighbourhood
promise me you'll come visit me in my lonely house?
We'll dress you as a boy and call you my spouse.
Bye.
Well, it's obvious you've gone and done what I said,
You're so drunk on vodka,
I'm surprised you're not dead.
I think I may have to stay here instead
Since so spaced out and confused is your poor, drunken head.
Yesterday, I had my history test,
I studied the wrong thing and was unbelievably pissed.
Afterwards, I went and had Mc.Donalds,
Im hurting - it really clogged up my bowels.
I stand and stare instead of knocking
'Cos my current state is really quite shocking,
I put on a kilo- then another and another
And now,
I weigh more than my mother.
I'm not hot with promises,
I always forget,
Hows about you come to Malaysia instead?
Bye.
Sarah, Sarah. You know, I must say
your rhyming skills have made my day!
I mean, rhyming McDonalds with Bowels, oh wow.
That was so 'chun' I'll have to leave now.
Yes, I said chun! So I'm still rather Asian
Asian as in Asia and no, I'm not Eurasian.
I had a music exam, so my mind's rather blank,
The test was OMGWTFLOL, to be frank.
Now Sarah dear, don't you fret about history.
The grades you will get will be no real mystery.
I know you'll do fine, just you wait and see,
When you get your marks back, you'll see an A (or a B?)
In addition to being incredibly weird,
you're really quite stupid underneath your thick beard.
Fat? Oh really? Are you going there?
Don't be daft now, think of me, OH YEAH.
I'd love to come home, but I'm afraid that's far.
Far as in November, for Christmas on par
Instead, you should come, so then you could see
Just how amazingly wretched Australians can be.
(Don't tell Harry or Sam I said that,
I love them more than I love my cat.)
Facebook cut my wallpost short,
Let's get together and start a cohort
against limited wallposts, because there's no way
I could rhyme like this in less than 5 stanzas, yeah hey.
Speaking of the end of the year,
I just realised I never got to hear
When exactly you were leaving for South Africaland,
abandoning me here with my one-woman band.
Yes, I said band; I play the air guitar.
No, no, NOT THE SITAR.
I said guitar, guitar, as in *jang jang jang*
...Sorry, I needed this poem to go out with a bang. :(
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
SARAH EMMA MATHER BROWN,
I really miss you. :(
Thanks man, I thought for over an hour,
I thought while eating spaghetti, I thought while taking a shower.
I thought while watching tv- it was a show on insect mating,
But, lucky for you, I skipped out masturbating.
South Africaland? It's gonna be rather soon,
I get to play with the lions and see my pet baboon.
You see, Im really quite excited, I'm finally going home,
Where there aren't ugly men, or the deafening city drone.
The air guitars awesome, but you need a bit of jangle,
Fucking lucky for you, I play the air triangle!
Your one woman band will now become two,
I'll also do air vocals,
You don't mind,
Do you?
My history grades I won't think about,
To be honest, I'd rather suffer a bad case of gout.
An A or a B?? That's so very, very doubtful,
Don't you dare argue - I'll give you a mouthful.
Alas! It's sad! But really, it's true!
Im a fatty, with a beard now, too!
I brush it every night - never less than 120
John likes it when it's shiny - he finds it rather kinky.
But I hate that country! It took you away,
It made you get on that plane, and now it's forcing you to stay!
We'll devise an escape plan - it'll be witty and cunning,
It'll involve lots of jumping, swearing and running.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
NICOLE, MY LOVE,
I miss you TIMES TWO
Thank you, love, for the masturbating quote,
Now when I think of insects, I'll think of what you wrote.
I already know it's not a pretty sight,
Next time just skip it, so I'd sleep well at night?
Moving on to South Africaland;
Going so soon? No, scrap the plan!
If you go now, it only just means
That I won't see my Sarah or her jellybeans.
The thought of no Sarah, ever, ever again
Is taking a toll on my (rather large) brain.
I know there's still Facebook, and Skype and whatnot,
But what about my doodle pages, my jokes, my laughs -- the whole lot!?
Air vocals will be awesome, my band was rather lonely,
We could all our favorite songs; yes, the one and only!
I'll rock out on my guitar, far beyond my young age,
While you stand and look pretty and not fall off the stage.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding, you know I love you.
I love you so much, I don't know what to do
Corpus is lovely, and so are my friends,
But to be honest, I'm missing YOU guys to no end.
HOLY MACARONI, FACEBOOK DID IT AGAIN.
Cutting off my wallposts; gosh it's insane.
There's so much more that I want to say,
But there aren't the words to begin them today.
I'm afraid this poem has taken a turn
For the sadder emotions, so I will return
Later on when I'm in a better mood,
Because thinking about my old life makes me want to fucking cry because I miss you guys so much and lordy lord Australia sucks meatballs and it's past five pm so I can't even go to the mall to get some ice cream because everything here closes at fucking five yes I know what the fuck doode.
So it is here that I'll end this poem,
I'm out of rhyming words, but I'm sure you know 'em.
You take care my lovely, that escape plan sounds amazing,
The next thing you know, you and I'll be hell raising.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I love you much,
I'll give up candy for you.
But no, that's not all
I'll give up MUSIC and LIFE,
If you promise me
You'll leave John and be my wife?
Leave John to be your wife?
Why didn't you ask before?
Your mind's as sharp as a knife!
I'll sneak out - no later than four.
Ah, My Sweet! My Lovely! My Dear!
Don't be sad, and don't you dare shed a tear!
Your peeps in Malaysia are as retarded as ever,
Shouting, screaming, swearing, and none of us very clever.
Your old life WAS the best,
But as of now, your Aussie's guest,
So I'll give you some thoughts from my "Happiness Cup";
When I come there next, I'll blow parts of it up.
The masturbating quote?
No problem at all,
It should get me at least one vote
For the Queen of the Grad Ball.
I'll stand there and look good,
Enticing my bretherin' from the hood.
I promise to bitch, wink and tease
As long as I'm paid well. (And don't have to get on my knees)
My, that was uncalled for, but I couldn't find a word
That went well the rhyme scheme,
So I had to write down what I heard,
On a show on MTV - can't remember what it's called,
About a group of hookers,
I really was appalled!
Like I'd just leave the country?
Seriously, please.
Malaysia has such perks!
Like purchasing alcohol with ease.
But there's also you lot, and it'd cost a lot to travel
So, If you're good, I'll stay for my A-level.
Oh! The nights we will have!
And the nights we won't remember,
Fortunately I'm the only non-drunk,
Forced to act as the "Reminder"
Roses are red,
Violets have a nice hue,
I thought of Spongebob today,
And was reminded of you.
I thought about chemistry - Ms.Thiaga and all
And how we'd erase letters to rearrange words on her board.
And I've come to the conclusion, all on my own,
That I'm going to be insanely, immeasurably sad,
If you don't please, please get home.
I know I haven't written for a while,
And didn't reply to your last poem,
life's been so hectic here
But, finally, I'm home.
Tell me how your life is,
And what you've been doing,
I went to Africa for summer,
And could hear nothing but cows moo-ing.
I've got a new boyfriend- You remember Dan?
It's a long distance thing, but we're making a plan.
He's a crazy guy, you'd like him a lot,
Introduce yourself to him, and he'd be the first to give you a shot!
I've been reading through your blog,
And I really like your stuff!
It reminded me of science lessons
Shit--that subject was tough!!
My rhyming skills have gone to shit
And I wouldn't be surprised if you decided to hit
Me square on the face,
I admit, the stanzas are a disgrace!
Oh my dearest Sarah bum,
I love love love you the most.
But I must tell you I'm so very sorry--
It appears it was ME who didn't reply your wallpost.
I'm such an idiot, a dunce, you see
For I adore all your little rhymes.
They help me feel better about my shitty Perth life,
And instead remember old times. :)
My life's been good, or it's been alright
It seems to be improving.
But though I love my friends, I still miss you guys,
And I often think of moving.
Ah yes, that Dan, I do remember
I suppose it's 'new-old boyfriend', ha
I must ask, how's John taking the news?
I'm sure he's sad that you're so far.
I'm glad you like my blog,
And all the odd things I post.
But I do wish you'd update YOURS too,
So I can show my friends and boast.
Tell me, Sez, about your life
Your plans for school and such.
I'm so eager to know how you're doing
Because I've been missing you so much.
You see the thing about John
And I'm afraid it's not good,
He broke my heart
And I never thought he would,
So I went through the tough times
Of wanting to give him a vasectomy,
Dan was there through it all
And the rest, I suppose, is history.
I knew it would improve!
I knew I was right!
'Cos you always feel loneliest
When alone and at night,
But now you've met some peeps,
And I so glad to know you're happy,
I'll stop this verse now
Before it gets too sappy.
You're damn fucking right!
YOU never replied!
It's no wonder
I felt like committing suicide!
And what about you?
Is there a boy in your life?
Do I have to give the sex talk,
Or do I have to get a knife?
I'm moving soon,
So school starts then,
It feels amazing
Not to have to use a pen!!
I miss you my love,
More than that fat kid misses his cake,
A visit from you
Must come soon,
Some serious plans we must make
